IN the past few weeks, I have often heard complaints from a number of members who received reprimands when they posted in Indonesian Subud WhatsApp groups: “Don’t post things that aren’t considered as ‘kejiwaan’!”
Recently, even a new helper who posted a snippet of Bapak’s talk which was considered not in line with the interests of several people in a WhatsApp group received a warning from a senior helper that his post was “not kejiwaan”.
I then harbored a question, what is classified as “kejiwaan” and what is “not kejiwaan”? How can we know that what someone says, writes or does can be classified as “kejiwaan” or not?
That question seems to have stuck in my mind, so that when I did the Latihan tonight at Pamulang Hall, I experienced a kind of testing by myself: “You can start counting...”
I uttered (in Bahasa): “Satu (1), dua (2), tiga (3), empat (4)... etc.” Each of my utterance was light and liberating to me, and they were slow, in bits of syllables, and steady in my ears. But entering the count of “duapuluh tujuh” (27), my sense of being was disturbed, it felt heavy and forced, so I felt myself being under pressure. I stopped at “duapuluh sembilan” (29), because I felt very bad.
“Well, now you know the difference between those that are in the kejiwaan realm and those that are not?” said my inner voice.
P.S.: I also felt a bit embarrassed when I was guided in counting, because I was like an elementary school student who was just learning to count, while around me the other members were exclaiming words that suggested religiosity.©2023
Pondok Cabe,
Tangerang Selatan, 25 February 2023
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