ON the fourth Night of Power in the Ramadan month of 2023, I attended a kejiwaan gathering at Wisma Indonesia, within the Wisma Subud Cilandak compound. Kejiwaan gatherings have been held since the first Night of Power, last April 11, and I attended all of them.
At the kejiwaan gathering of April 17 (which lasted until predawn, April 18), I shared my experience about total surrender, after Area 1 International Helper Suryadi Sumohadiwidjojo told us about the time he explained to a member from Brazil who had no idea what surrender is. Suryadi explained to him in an analogy: Imagine yourself in a speeding car, suddenly there is a wall in front of you. You just can’t think or do anything. The only thing left is to surrender.
Exactly like the analogy told by Suryadi, that was what I experienced on Saturday morning, April 15. After dropping my daughter off at her school, I rode my motorbike at normal speed, heading back home. On one road, suddenly my consciousness “moved” to another realm, the scenery of which was foreign to me. That, I felt, was short-lived, and by the time I got back to reality, my motorbike was already traveling at high speed, while five meters ahead of me another motorbike was about to cross the road. It was too late for me to hit the brakes!
It was then, I felt all thoughts and nafsus disappear; I felt myself empty, as if my life had been taken away. No panic nor fear. The collision was inevitable. I bounced into the air, but felt comfortable like floating in the clouds. And fell on top of the person whose motorbike I hit and who was crushed by her own motorbike.
With the help of two eyewitnesses, I was able to stand up. Not only did I feel no pain, but my body was intact, unharmed in the slightest. Not even a scratch. My motorbike also only had minor damage. What was most miraculous, for me, was my feeling of indescribable joy!
After finishing business with the person whose motorbike I hit, I went home, still feeling joyful, and my inner kept on chanting “God, God, God!”
When my wife guessed that I probably fell asleep while riding my
motorbike, I jokingly said, “No. It seems like Lailatul Qadar fell on my head and momentarily blinded my eyes.”©2023
Pondok Cabe, Tangerang Selatan, 18 April 2023
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