The SUBUD Part of Me

There are a few areas in my life which help me feel centered. One is my spiritual journey. I was raised with a religion—in fact my mother was very religious for she came from Aceh, a province in Indonesia that is well-known for its strict imposition of the sharia.

In my late twenties I felt something was lacking. I sensed that this world I lived in wasn’t the whole story. I was attracted to Buddhism, but I was eventually clear that that didn’t work for me.

For the last 16 years I have been an active member of SUBUD (Susila Budhi Dharma), an interfaith, cross-cultural spiritual association originating in Central Java, Indonesia, with a worldwide membership. 

SUBUD centers around a practice called the Latihan Kejiwaan, simply means “spiritual exercise”. This exercise is not thought about, learned or trained for; it is unique for each person and the ability to “receive” it is passed on by being in the presence of another practicing member at the “opening”. 

Latihaners are advised to surrender to the Divine and follow “what arises from within”, not expecting anything in advance. One is recommended not to focus on any image or recite any mantra, nor to mix the Latihan with other activities like meditation, but simply to intend to surrender to the Divine or the will of God. Outwardly, the exercise often manifests as physical movement and vocal activity that vary greatly both over time and between individuals.

Back in the early days after I was opened, I was trying hard to be “spiritual”, as were so many. But learning how Bapak (that is what Subud people address Muhammad Subuh Sumohadiwidjojo, the founder of SUBUD) acted—so light!—gave me the clue that getting happy was really the way to go. Not an easy task—a life-long assignment! And now I feel that, without a sense of humor, there is no hope. But with a sense of humor—well, who knows? Even though we are just a funny old barrel of monkeys!

The Latihan has become my breath, my life; it guides me to live life to the fullest. It directs me to find the real me.

I love being the SUBUD part of me.